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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 5k fun run and other funny jokes |
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Simple Joke
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned.
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Funny Kids Joke
What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?The tusk fairy!What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?An elephant with spare parts!What's grey but turns red?An embarrassed elephant!What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?Cinderelephant!When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?When it's a baby elephant!How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?When your nose touches the ceiling!What do you call an elephant that flies?A jumbo jet!What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
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Blonde Joke - 1
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, 'Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load. ' The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, 'Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load. ' He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, 'Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load. ' The trucker looks at her and finally he says, 'Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck. '
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Bar Joke - 1
A pony walks into a bar and says 'Bartender, may I have a drink?'
Bartender says 'What? I can't hear you. Speak up!'
'May I please have a drink?'
'What? You have to speak up!'
'Could I please have a drink?'
'Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you. '
'I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse. '
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo Mama is so fat, when she sits on a quarter she squeezes a booger out of George Washington's nose.
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Food and Drink Joke
In January '1994
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Love and Marriage Joke
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, 'My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!' As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, 'My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?' The guy says, 'Listen, I don't want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!'
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Bible Joke
Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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