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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 50th birthday joke gifts and other funny jokes |
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School Joke
Teacher : What are you doing, crawling into school ten minutes late ? Pupil : Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late !
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Men Joke
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. 'How do you account for this?' he asked the brothers. 'It's hereditary, sir, ' the older one replied. 'I see, ' said the doctor, writing in his file. 'Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?''No sir, our mother. ''Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!''I know, sir, ' replied the recruit, 'but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could. '
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Relationships Joke
Emery fixed himself a Scotch while waiting forMaria to get ready for their date. She came outof the shower wrapped in a bath towel and said, 'I'm sorry I'm late but I was shopping and losttrack of time. Would you like to see me in mynew dress?''I would like nothing better. ' said Emery.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Situation Joke
First man: How'd you get that black eye?Second man: I called some woman a two-bit whore. First man: She punched you?Second man: Nope. She hit me with her bag of quarters.
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Law Enforcement Joke
After shopping in a mall, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, 'I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star. ' Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, 'Well, you still have your car. I have to put my kid through college somehow, don't I?'
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Dance Joke
How do they dance in Arabia? Sheik-to-sheik (cheek).
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Animal World
Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't make a fist.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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