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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 50 birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Totally Weird Joke
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, 'I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered. 'The second said, 'I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. you open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order. 'The third said, 'I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded. 'The fourth one said, 'I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable. 'Fifth surgeon said, 'I like Engineers. . . they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end. . . '
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Andy Green.
Andy Green, who?
Andy Green grass grows all around, all around. Andy Green grass grows all around . . .
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Joke for Kids
How can you tell a blonde is under stress?She's got her tampax behind one ear and she can't find her pen!
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Political Joke
A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, 'We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work. ' An Englishman said, 'We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks. ' The Irishman says, 'That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks. ' The American says, 'Well hell, That's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!'
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Birthday Joke
What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
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Marriage Joke
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, 'I was just trying to be a good ring bear. '
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Weird Women Joke
Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, 'Come this way, ' and heads towards the back of the store. 'If I could come that way, ' she tells the retreating clerk, 'I wouldn't need the batteries. '
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Strange Humor
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says 'Hey bartender give me a beer'. The bartender says - 'I'm sorry we don't serve food here'.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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