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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 40th birthday humour and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
What type of sense of humor does rain have? -A very wet sense of humor
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Dog Joke - 2
What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ?
Chump chops !
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Elderly People Joke
Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, 'My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?'. The second guy says, 'Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit. 'So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, 'Did you see it?'. 'Sure!', says his buddy. 'Where did it go?', the first guy asks. The second old man thinks for a minute and says, 'I can't remember. '
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Business Joke
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. February '10
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Best Joke Online
There were 3 guys in a plane. The plane was about to crash. They each had to throw one item out: The 1st guy threw out an apple. The 2nd one threw out a bannana. The 3rd one threw out a bomb. There were 3 guys below them. 2 were crying, 1 was laughing. A guy went up to the 1st one and asked, 'Why are you crying?'He answered, 'an Apple hit me on the head. He went up to the 2nd one and asked, 'Why are you crying?'He answered, 'a Bannana hit me on the head. 'He went up to the 3rd one and asked, 'Why are you laughing?'He answered, 'I farted and my house blew up!'
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Aviation Joke
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. 'Tell me, ' she said suspiciously, 'what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?' The actuary looked through his tables and said, 'A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand. ' She nodded, then thought for a moment. 'So what are the o dds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?' Again he went through his tables. 'Extremely remote, ' he said. 'About one in a billion. ' Aunt Bessie nodded and left his office. And from that day on, every time she flew, she took a bomb with her.
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Stupid Men
Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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