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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 40 birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
Three paratroopers, a Jew, an American, and a Pollack are to throw a hand gernade from the plane, then jump. The Jew goes first - 'This is for my country' and he throws the gernade out and jumps. He lands and sees a little boy crying and asks 'what's the matter'? The boys says 'my dog just blew up!'The American tosses the gernade, jumps and when he lands he sees a little girl crying. She tells him, 'my cat just blew up!'The Pollack tosses, jumps and lands. He sees this Redneck laughing his head off. 'What so funny, asks the Pollock?'The Redneck replies - 'I just farted and my house blew up!'
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Fishing Joke
Which fish can perform operations ? A Sturgeon !
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Humor Joke
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, 'what did you think of the scenery ?' 'Oh, I couldn't see much, ' Harry admitted. 'There were all these mountains in the way. '
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Redneck Joke
What is the difference between a brown-noser and a shit-head?Depth perception.
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Fishing Joke
I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead. 'That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!'
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Joke for Halloween
A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife. So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back. 'Now this is the perfect pet for your wife, Chet is an very special animal' the salesman said. 'What makes him so special?' the man asked. The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chet's right foot, and Chet started to sing 'Jingle bells, jingle bells. . ' and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing 'Deck the halls. . . 'So the man asked, 'What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?''Well I don't know' answered the salesman. So he holds the lighter between the parrot's legs and instantly Chet began to sing. . . 'Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire. . . '
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Simple Joke
Doctor, 'What seems to be the problem?' Patient, 'Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time, ' The Doctor nods, 'Hmm. ' Patient, 'My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?' 'Hmm, ' says the Doctor, He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled 'Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?' 'No, ' sighs the Doctor, 'The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test. '
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Letter Joke
Why do postmen carry letters? Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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