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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of 21st birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Travel Humor
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the manbehind her and said, 'Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!''I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay checkin my pocket. ''Oh really' she spat. 'then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour. '
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Bed Joke
I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy!
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Various animal Joke
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!
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Funny College Joke
You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick. You find humor in other people's stupidity. You want to slap the next person who says 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free. 'You believe chocolate is a food group. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside. You believe 'Shallow gene pool' should have its own box in the report card. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior. You have no life between August to June. When you mention 'Vegetables' you're not talking about a food group. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak. You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years. You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would 'Never DREAM' of doing your job. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says 'I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun. 'You want to choke a person when he or she says 'Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you. 'Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question 'Why is this kid like this?'
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Ouch Joke
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise shipthat sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamedof what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamedof what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again--being so ashamedof what they were doing.
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Snake Joke
What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !
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Best Joke Online
The Taliban's Fall TV Line-upMONDAYS:8:00 - 'Husseinfeld'8:30 - 'Mad About Everything'9:00 - 'Suddenly Sanctions'9:30 - 'The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show'10:00 - 'Allah McBeal'TUESDAYS:8:00 - 'Wheel of Terror and Fortune'8:30 - 'The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right'9:00 - 'Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things'9:30 - 'Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers'10:00 - 'Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer'WEDNESDAYS:8:00 - 'U. S. Military Secrets Revealed'8:30 - 'Bowling For Food'9:00 - 'Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread'9:30 - 'Just Shoot Everyone'10:00 - 'Veilwatch'THURSDAYS:8:00 - 'Matima Loves Chachi'8:30 - 'M*U*S*T*A*S*H'9:00 - 'Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils'9:30 - 'My Two Baghdads'10:00 - 'Diagnosis: Heresy'FRIDAYS:8:00 - 'Judge Laden'8:30 - 'Funniest Super 8 Home Movies'9:00 - 'Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionare'9:30 - 'Achmeds Creek'10:00 - 'No-witness News'
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Mental health Joke
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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